The lady who hugged back life
Epitome of grace and acceptance
Recently I was going through a blog by Smita Murthy, who is one of my favorite storytellers. She said somewhere along the lines that we tend to avoid life as we move through it.
This lady in the titled picture is one of those rare people who floats against this tide.
The majority of people, at least whom I know, drag themselves through life, heaving a sigh of torment due to their past burdens of trauma .
However, there’s this one lady, who moves through life, embracing it at every step.
My Mashi
She’s my ‘Mashi’. In our dialect Mashi is what we call our mother’s sister. Nevertheless, she is not someone from our blood relations. She’s been the caretaker of our house and the chef of our family for almost a decade now.
Short in stature, wearing a traditional cotton saari, her lips always adorn a graceful smile.
Mashi was a young bride and had to jump into maintaining her in law’s family duties as soon she was married in an arranged setup. A few years later she became pregnant with her son and daughter. It was when her children were toddlers, that a thunder struck her life.
Her husband died of the malaria epidemic during the 90s after a prolonged battle with the disease and she was left alone to tend for her entire family.
As her children became adults and had their own families, another irony of fate awaited her as she was thrown out of her house by her son and daughter in law. It was the same son who could thrive and survive because of his mother being his umbrella during the direst of storms.
She was in her mid-50s back then. Struggles never allowed depression to come into the picture as she couldn’t afford being tired of life.
Life had to have much more meaning than those ‘meagre’ ironies.
She started living in a small bambbo hut with the basic amenities and gradually built a life of her own with her talent of being able to cook traditional Bengali cuusine.
We met her during some of the darkest times of our lives. My mother was bedridden and needed constant assistance and attention. We had to attend school and my father had to attend his office.
She not only took care of me and my younger brother when we were mere children but also helped my ailing mother get better with time.
Since then she has been an integral part of our family.
Many a time we have tried to pursuade her to help her financially in some way or the other , but she rejects everything and accepts only her due salary and what she has earned through hard work.
She is more than satisfied in her humble abode and earns her own livelihood on her own even now, with her spine and character standing unshakeable in joy and kindness.
In her community she is like the matriarch and everyone without her no decision of the community is taken as she is the motherly figure for everyone.
A balance between softness and rigidity
With her life’s savings, she funds for her granddaughter’s education abroad, so that they can get a bright future.
Just a couple days back she was gifted a monthly supply of groceries by the government as a part of aid for all senior citizens who may face a financial crunch.
The next day she came to me and handed over a fragrant soap, which was a part of that hamper.
She said “didibhai (a loving call that grandmothers call their grand daughter), this soap is for you, you will love the fragrance”.
From the meagre supplies that is enough to sustain only one person, she makes space for me, loving me, as always. This touched me so much and I happily accepted her sweet little gift.
Why am I telling her story
Her story teaches me everyday to shine the inner light of the self, and moving through life like a warrior, safe within the shining armour of that light. Such a light can never be dimmed and its legacy remains beyond the physical existence.
It is difficult to embrace the uncertainties of life when it throws thorns of bitter experiences at us, however Mashi makes me believe that the path becomes clear and free when these thorns are skillfully picked up and through a perfectly balanced combination of grit and kindness.
Despite being devoid of basic formal literacy, my Mashi understood this precious truth of life that we, the educated ones ignore and fail to acknowledge.
If you also have someone like Mashi in your life, cherish, love and imbibe his/her qualities.
Embrace the path of life and it’ll hug you back.
She knows that I’ve written something about her and would love to hear back your comments!
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